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desiderata

by starklove

/
1.
sacrifice yourself come on do it if you really believe in your music show me a sign
2.
(starklove) one man's floor one man's ceiling positive thoughts negative feelings stress and love and sex and war god and drugs and death and whores hope and pain and strength and gains contextual frames and mind games trips and traps and mental snaps blisters, blood, hugs and love taps forced relapse from clasped synapse fallin back on old habits can't hack it still can't grow past it fuckin tragic last thoughts because "don't turn it off" because there's just not enough time left to continue to live in compromising positions compromising my ambitions the final edition the final call so listen (hook) the reaper doesn't wait might as well face fate or turn fate around about face and take the weight (hAbiB) like taking the stairs in my building i hope i make it down and if you make a sound if you’re really prepared for the feeling i broke the dutch on down and spread the guts around homie looked dead but he chillin watching a fucked up civilian a faint smell hit him in the ill wind it won’t restrain for the powder but the powder magic make him reappear again grim weird scratch my beard thin support work recurring you’re stuck paying arrears again so my years are running thin like the front under my brim what you want? money again huh? money again? huh? let me begin from the top what if we started from the end since my soul stays warm should i stop? you could say my imagination’s fuckin up the block (hook)
3.
Rigged 04:40
(hook) (Sarah Tracey) how can it be? they don't know? they don't know? all of these years? they don't know? they don't know? tell you what it is they don't know they don't know everything is rigged now you know now you know (Big Pep) i’m addicted to life i’m addicted to drugs i’m addicted to hate i’m addicted to love everything in my life’s fucked up i wanna bang out like the crips and the bloods but i can’t cuz i gotta maintain but i will if you don’t respect my game i got a whole lotta pain inside and that’s the reason why i get high, right? i dunno man can’t call it i’m burnt out plus i’m an alcoholic two strikes against me • come and get me but if i go some of y’all are coming with me i chase henny with shots of whiskey shit b, i got more bills than bixbie this be the truth i raise my hand to god on one knee and ask how my life is hard? oh babyso crazy i’ma do what i do don’t hate me ain’t nobody perfect who are you to judge me? you either take me as i come but don’t love me don’t hug me don’t touch me don’t test me don’t stress me so focused yet so hopeless cut me open i can show you where the dope is right here man all year man i got love for the weed and the beer man get it clear man somebody had me convinced that my dreams were in the bottom of that beercan but i’m still here offa sheer perseverance break my pride but can’t break my spirit duct tape his mouth shut tie his hands and feet up head back to the hut and roll that weed up (hook) (starklove) how the fuck do you think we even got this far? my last twenty bucks dropped at the bar into something, it's no good… but what isn't? good things become no good with too much of it illicit substances girls with no substance and late nights, rough days can't get enough of it i'm past that now on second thoughts, pass that down i'll take one for the road but then i gotta go can't just say no temptations no patience get bad vibrations get the breath knocked out my chest can't sleep, can't rest can't not get depressed the way they push stress extinction agendas you know the means where the fuck you think we'll end up? the send up's the whole thing's a set up your greatest desire's your greatest demise but these bald faced liars keep telling me differently questioning me why can't I simply see? is it just me? or could it be the whole thing's rigged up? (hook)
4.
all day and night, cowering in fear can't help but fear the end must be near the music is bleeding through the wall can't see where it's leading drags me down deep into my core seeps into my pores speaking foreign words so familiar they'll kill you melophobia fear of music i couldn't sing a different tune if i could choose it can't get away from music, but can't get too close to it there's no room for me but music won't let me be passing cars doubled-over passed out at bars get nauseous from muzak in supermarkets can't ride in elevators! dj pull back the fader! i can't take it!! i'm fuckin going crazy!!! it wasn't always like this music once my muse a mistress i abused she came back with a vengeance speaking loud, but no sense so music became senseless now everything's the same every song on the radio's the same every record i hear sounds the same dug beneath the surface, but even there felt worthless an underground fractured record snobs, burnt-out ravers and backpackers drag myself back to home bombarded by garbage pouring out of cars and bodegas don't get me started ipods and boomboxes any joint the dj drops is obnoxious anything to stop this! finally asked god for help the choir drove me away guess i can't even be saved
5.
(Big Pep) i'm a victim of society son they lied to me they told me i could be as rich as i tried to be man tried bribery chanced with the lottery everything from nine-to-five to strong arm robbery ain't nothing stopping me if i think logically i could get money across the board like monopoly that's the way it's supposed to be but these cat's is holding me praying i don't make it while they’re clinging to their rosary they wanna kill me cause they know ain't no controlling me but i'm quick enough to not let em get close to me on point i could see them all approaching me like they bout to try and put one over me they run and hide when the thetherkness hits but everything you do in the dark will soon come into the light again and ain't no where that you can run n hide we runnin by with automatic semi's tellin you to hold yo hands up high (hook) get em up hit em up move em out load it up cock it back shoot it out these are hard times i'm on a hard grind don't slip and get get caught on the wrong side get em up hit em up move em out load it up cock it back shoot it out i'ma burn it down i'ma rip it up on the strenth all i got is insufficient funds if i learned early life ain't fair then why should i care they treat me like a bum when they stop and they stare like they never saw somebody who was down on there luck every penny that i got is my styrofoam cup i'm tryin to add to it, i take nickels n dimes aluminum cans i'm collecting whatever i find i'm at the off ramp holdin a sign but don't nobody wanna help me out because they think i'm prone to get high i just wish i could die you ain't feelin my pain i ain't got nothin to lose and nothin to gain i ain't got nothin to get nothin to give i'm even comin up short on a reason to live i wanna take time and go back but the laws of nature say that i can't nobody is given a 2nd chance it's hard to advance when hittin rock bottom wasn't part of the plans (hook) i'd sit alone with the heat pressed against my brain tryin to find a way to stop this relentless pain a rebel without a cause up against the grain cause i'm the king of the castle up in this domain i tried but it's hard to resist the game it's crazy cause somehow i'm convinced i'm sane but some people don't see things the way i do that just means they don't comprehend the way i move i ain't fresh off the boat i done paid my dues turned my back for a second they changed the rules now they say it's ok for you to blaze your tool but it's wrong if i pull out and aim at you flame at you and let you feel the heat for all the nights i went hungry then went to sleep but now they got me in the gate and i'ma break the game with more fire and more desire than rick james (hook)
6.
Skyline 03:43
(hAbiB) most of the sum from the crumble shell rocks In a jar at rockstar jungle the cops are the enemy, hAbiB's the akbar jock for identity, what does he cock for? at a mach or more you're still slower after the shot if you're still sober the gift done spilled over my lisp a little slower he into covert hizzop hozzop since his own birth i wrote rhymes instead of homework look at me now, my mental slate just slave me to the pen i like this state just slave me to the pen just erase me never been i ever was dope i think it look better cuz with the show done got me cooked and hooked on better drugs whatever he was gonna be i admit the better the grudge the better the intent we the pimps we the two-bit hustler slang talking it's the show get used to it young in love putting the strap on his waist and he keeps smoking the fire til it blackens his face i'ma keep quoting the times stop attacking my race we the spoken messiah the keynoted town crier we floated off the semen a little higher we getting wrote-off he took his coat off nuff for the street (hook) time to peep my sky how you like my skyline? so i guess my time in could never get me in when my time's out? how the fuck my depression become an incentive? and they frisk every ninja that i come in with early morning i'm in front of cameras blunt in my lip megas talk real, but they ain't got the stomach for this but he bought steel still he know is hunger a risk his heart feel it's part ill industry narcville still he feel they plotting on his hungry a $100 t-shirt and cotton ain't gettin money? we on new plantations with whips the horse is the white powder the sniff i don't just fight i fight for the power and myth i'm '89 realigned with the life in the brick if the pipe hit much better she walk with her head up rocking the dirty sweater we all knew her some time ago i thought he'd pursue her the show's starting here we go the ho’s stroll darted from the po's he got a wife but loves to see them broads on a pole i could bargain and roll you take this money for a good soul i take it dunny like to fake it mistaken for a good flow but no it's nothing but the truth looped in tempo far beyond the booth, the art and clothes i rise but the skyline’s as far as it goes (hook)
7.
…for the brothers and let em know what goes on well...
8.
Third Person 02:47
(starklove) a lighter touch a heavier weapon he wants answers keeps getting more questions his day's spent trying to pay rent up late nights til daylight wondering where his days went his credit's maxed out enough cards, not a thing still his portfolio's in a jar and it jingles don't call him a packrat he's more of a collector souvenirs of yesteryears yes, they're here trapped in the mines for a month and a day spat all his lines left with nothing to say threw it all away i pity the bastard all that work in the trash sure is nervous sometimes it feels like he'll never finish all these blemishes can't compromise perfection is it doubts that he has that really hold him back? or can he not see the future for the past? (hook) if he knew then what he knows now would he do then what he knows now was the wrong thing to do? perspective reflected the truth any less than third person's the wrong point of view (hAbiB) he might not never learn the law but if he do his temper stays to iffy to let him draw what the world got against him? as if he was never born i know that trife-ass mega his rhymes ain’t really raw with them big words he’s using the substances he’s abusing does he really talk how he’s living? or just giving what he saw? yo i don’t trust his position is he with us or against us? plus he stutters when talk his walk reminds me of a bad western i heard he likes to fuck with weapons most nights see him at the intersections where the planets meet the pavement he from newark so we expected it but why’s he so heavy in that slave shit he ride transit like he own it never made no money off the mic since he could hold it he’s original we’re all cloning
9.
Last Night 03:16
(Big Pep) woke up in the morning damn near lost my mind wishing i was blind somebody tried to rob me for mine ain't trying to see this recalling events of last evening in the park dolo sipping the nectar of the demons the sector i was leaning had a chick squatting a dutch between two fingers head bopping to her ipod she thinks i'm talking i'm styling for free but she took off her headphones and started smiling at me now she's coming over nice dimensions walking slightly swishing turned around it sure was worth hittin mad giddy already twisted off a fifth of henny taking guesses on was she walking up to get me she's next to me and act quick i think of sex and let her hold my brown bag and hit her with 20 questions like what's your name? where you from? where you going? can i get a few pulls off that dutch you been holding? you're bullshitting if you rolled it gotta smoke it she told me my aggressive nature had her eye on me she had another dime but was short on a dutch we copped two headed to the rest and kicked our feet up we're vibin chillin watching films on the projected ceiling feeling the hen the way you got my shirt peelin off my body her scent in the air let me know her stuff was soggy plus i'm ready to pump like a shotty (hook) last night this chick thought she caught me sleeping but i'm ready cuz i know how freaks come out on the weekend last night this chick's game was out of order as i watched every move she made on my tape recorder it's all too much to absorb my head is in between the jaws as she's illin on the floor debating should i hit raw? i think i better strap up cuz i don't know her from a hole in the wall went to the bathroom for a couple rubbers couldn't believe what the tape uncovered as i watched my body shuttered it revealed how she slipped a pill in the remainder of my spill and in my crib this bitch got ill continue footage here's where it gets good it's 3 o'clock in the morning and this hooker found my goodness lighting up my dutches as she fumbled through my drawers dropping ashes on my back as i'm spread on the floor picking up the phone to make a call as i seen every number she hit before she put the phone back on the wall 20 minutes later 3 dudes walked in tools with a push truck like they're about to start moving loading up my tv carried out my sofa the biggest ninja strapped my dresser on his shoulders i only got a few minutes before this tape is over she had to know that i would hunt her when i'm sober and when i catch her better be ready with the stretcher just for having the gall to walk out rockin my leather and as for them megas she's with they're all foul cuz the bitch left their number on my redial
10.
i hate when you stall me when all i got’s a quarter ounce of collie and yeah there's also that gram of molly but with this shit i couldn't highjack a trolly yo what the fuck? these dogs are sniffing for drugs not sniffing for bombs when this is out of my hands but it's still my problem all their fault not my schism but if you're living in fear then you’re just not living the world didn't change you just woke up coked up presidents and big guns don't mix well especially when it sits well with citizens that sit well staring at their fake news take you for example looking through my bags you’re not gonna find it you didn't last time if it's it i'll do time it's a risk but it's mine your laws are outdated been out since ‘38 in 2001 no future but what passed is you failed at your task if you'd been looking for these bastards not how i get blasted perhaps it wouldn't have happened? they don't search me on amtrak but a redeye from bc it’s easy getting a free man trapped caught in the man trap legal eagles who entrap me just what happened to we the people pursue happiness? your drug policy's a fallacy it's all i see I got no beef still k9s follow me not democracy understand hipocracy uncle scam him oughta be taking his hands off of me the cia put crack in the cities then went MIA when it came back to the kiddies loose on playgrounds goose duck duck stay down cartels don't play around they spray rounds a life in fear of monsters you created drug lords you made and bugged whores with AIDS and you wonder why i wanna be sedated? made it out through the gate safe and sound too it's straight up pound foolish but pennywise you can fly the friendly skies on henny ice but not any vice choosing my pastime's a choice to get harrassed i'm lucky so far wait there's always a last time got me standing in a back room the wrong time all you wanna do is turn that screw and uncork me take it if you want it then now that you've found what counts had half a mind to take half an ounce and have no doubts if it was cabot house you wouldn't give a fuck but because i prefer to puff i get cuffed? it's a fucked up way to live i can eat mcdonald's until i die but i can't get high? it's unconstitutional constitutes treason i'm lucky that lawyers retain retainers for a reason my last call's bleeding my last quarter out of me why didn't i leave that last quarter ounce and let it be getting me stressed out i need to make a call i'm no criminal you need a wake up call because if war is hell a drug war is hell counsellor, i'm at security and i need help
11.
(Big Pep) ayo these dudes is talking reckless like they know me c’mon homie you know you ain’t got nothing for me i push the whip sitting on 22’s you’re pushin 22 sitting on your momma’s stoop we ain’t the same breed you ain’t in my league i’m mach-eight out this bitch you ain’t catching me you ain’t stretching me you don’t threaten me you talk big but ain’t a bit of it impressing me big pep dirty jerz get it down now i got a buzz now these people wanna crowd around chicks running up just to pull my trowsers down and shake hands with the champ and try to get a round (starklove) (watch your step) cuz there's snakes in the grass slither straight in your path to put a blade in ya back not makin it back got you locked in a tight spot you might think you understand it but you might not it's a rat race run at a fast pace these rat bastards wanna push you back to last place so they cut corners cut throats cut off all hope of you making it off the ropes so careful who you trust they thrive on your belief in trust use it to truss you up they couldn't be more devious life is do or die not you or i we're past that don't kid yourself… backstabbers get stabbed back
12.
(Sarah Tracey) there is a station on my radio singing the sweetest silences to me and when i tune in it's all-consuming can't help but let it annihilate me can you hear my transmission does it broadcast the words i speak? is the static too thick? is my signal too weak?
13.
state of the industry sweating to death nevertheless i'm better than dead collapsed my lung son there's sweat on my breath claustrophobic in a crowd not so stoic is it now? god you know i figured it out lost it though it's in the clouds slipped my mind i slip sometimes but i trust that there's still time left to pick this thing up out the dust time to roll on them tried to be civil but got no hold on them spilled my guts and poured my whole soul on them still they can't get on my level tell me to seckle better to sweat though than to deal with these devils can't take the heartache - i get hurt watching cnn become the cartoon network while clear channels sell stereotypes and souls channelzero leave a boardroom full of holes stolen souls broken bones sticks and stones they're making a mockery of every memory i own they chat breeze man don't even believe them why lie? what's the reason why they chat breeze man
14.
Losing Me 02:31
(hAbiB) i wake up in the morning and i ask myself should i sign this deal and broadcast myself? court-ordered drug screen don’t pass itself child support the royalty before i cash my check respect for the corners got foreign dialects for detective and warrant squads before they even know me i’m sitting on that brick wall denzel or tony, ma? he outta pocket this is not his environment and they don’t like the product but everybody buying it from him even after i trimmed back the cut in mine with a plate of food it’s suppertime stay hating on ya dude but i don’t use the word blatant the curb did the making now i’m here preferred placement am i deserving your hatred? probably you ain’t never learned the basics me and woo in the spaceship pass me the blunt over the ave and smoke til we got to dating and passed it back... that’s jurassic rap we’re making (ohhhh baaaby you’re loooooosing me)
15.
i swear to god the fucking pentagon reads my IMs feds intercept my texts to detect where i am and everybody's watching me through cameras and peepholes undercover agency moles pretending to be people covert ops cops can't be trusted wars on "terruh" terrible inevitable destruction a false god's revelations scrawled on senseless pages pagan faiths for the faithless pagan deaths for the nameless a thin line between civilization and chaos and it's starting to feel like we may cross it nuclear holylands stand and stare each other down shots in the desert in the streets the playgrounds stay down some days i don't want to get up remind myself there's reasons to not let up life in samsara too easy forgetting truths venoms mirror wisdoms don't let these poisons get the best of you it's just energy gone wrong wisdom spoiled rotten deaths died in vain lives lived forgotten minds killed stalking truths that can't be hunted shoot at every hunter growth grown stunted devolution disguised as evolution let's get this straight there's no place for confusion reality is NOT illusion but the truth is it's contaminated with illusory pollution knowing this still my worst fears haunt me is this paranoia or justified paranoia? hold ya voice up ECHELON's listening don't even whisper, think or breathe dissent the thought police believe that what they don't believe is treasonous black helicopters stalk me still i walk these blocks see you can't keep a free man down you can't snuff a free mind out but if these poisons overcome us we might be wiped out left cash-strapped when the coffers for the black helicopters passed you paid that tax get your dollar back! ground-to-air wisdom products of the system dismantle systems unplug from the visions freedom is yours consciousness is not just this there's back doors and ways out ways to get back pure blissfreedomindivisible escape the cycle kill-at-will escape your fuckin cubicles society boxed in society locked in they got us right where they want us but not much longer you gotta understand these addictions, delusions, obsessions, persecutions, oppressions, submissions are all corrupt visions of wisdom turned inside out we have to learn to get right now before these poisons eat us alive from the inside out
16.
(starklove) this is the final call minus all mixed messages, red herrings and sedatives i hope you can deal with that i hope you can deal with facts the fact is… what works in theory often fails in practice woke up this morning felt the earth shift on its axis went to sleep bleeding tears in the mattress can’t seem to get past this (hook) (Jenny Klock) there's a love that's growing i can feel it rising and i hate not knowing if it's strong enough or strong at all but life keeps on going endlessly cyclings every day spent hoping this day is the day the fear will fall (Mr. Merlin) you lurk inside me everytime I look around you’re right behind me you’re my mirror and I can’t stand my reflection i search for truth, but all i see is deception a world without you is what i need no more seeds, my garden is overrun with weeds how did i ever let you push me this far? all that's left is bruises and scars you are the lifeline that feeds me darkness and pain tears followed by rain has made every day the same you've driven me insane, but at least you drove me somewhere left me for dead chest open and bare you can't control me and you can't hold me i am now in a place where you can no longer mold me your death will be fast as twice as your birth you can't control me i have proven my worth (hook)
17.
i hate how you live like it's the dark ages fuck AIDS ignorance kills more plus it's way more contagious face it you see life in black and white you can't globalize your grasp on the past's too tight but it's about time that we change that fact move forward cuz we can't backtrack you wanna go back like a fuckin sad sack then we'll leave youfor dead in the past that's that eye for an eye muthafucka that's that racists with their face split that's that biggots get their heads splitted that's that corrupt cops tasting their own blackjacks cuz brooklyn is the tundra it's a blank slate the real melting pot a last shot for the human race this is the future i'm out here to be closer to it and leave the past in ruins cuz that's all it's doing estonians and jamaicans hasidics and heathens human beings are alive and breathing no need to divide divisions dilute the meanings this is raw freedom nothing left to lose this is our freedom nothing left but truth they take all our freedoms what the fuck do we do? you better get up and do something (NOW!)
18.
my life is too real, my brain filters it out dilutes it i can't figure it out so i use mind expansion to find enhancement and push the envelope so… this world, this garbage all this shit's pathetic but i bet it'd just fall away if i let it i lit it, i hit it, i flipped my fuckin biscuit and the next thing i knew people got distant listen hell's on earth, but heaven's in your mind but you wouldn't understand nevermind white clouds in heaven like white clouds in my spoon try not to get consumed by white walls in my room if you wait to be saved then you wait forever i burn my lips on hot glass for a taste of heaven and it's the same [INAUDIBLE] i swear to god to this day paradise is a [INAUDIBLE] but basic fact states i had to face it is life a masquerade of lasting pain lain wasted? or can we change it? you had me believing that i could be something then left me standing here holding on to nothing it can't be all or nothing you can't see how i'm suffering struggling to be right while being left with nothing fuck that! you don't even know me nobody knows me i don't even know me but i know together we progress… [INAUDIBLE] [TRANSMISSION TERMINATED]
19.
reality is not as it appears... nor is it otherwise
20.
om mani padme hum

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starklove - "desiderata" will be available from Bartleby Records on October 20, 2010 (digital release on October 10, 2010).

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released October 20, 2010

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